💬 Hard Conversations: Appointing a Trusted Contact
When you choose someone to be your Trusted Contact, you’re asking them to carry out your wishes with care and confidence. This section helps you think through the financial and legal realities before naming that person.
Important: Say It Last shares this content for educational purposes only. It is not legal or financial advice. Laws differ by state. If you have any doubt, speak with a qualified estate attorney or financial advisor.
1. Should You Have an Attorney?
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Legal guidance isn’t required for everyone—but it can make life easier for the Trusted Contact and protect your estate from mistakes.
If you have real estate, multiple bank accounts, or business assets, an estate attorney can set up a will or simple trust that complements your Say It Last Vault.
For small or straightforward estates, you can still document clear instructions in your Vault and appoint a Trusted Contact without legal representation—but always store official documents in a safe place.
Attorneys can also clarify how long an account stays open, who has access, and how probate works in your state.
Reminder: Only a licensed attorney can give legal advice. Say It Last does not review or draft legal documents.
2. How Much Cash on Hand Should a Trusted Contact Have?
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Executors and Trusted Contacts often face short-term costs before life-insurance or probate funds are available.
Typical immediate expenses include:
Funeral deposits, travel, and obituary fees
Utility or home-security payments to keep a property safe
Pet care or temporary boarding
Subscription and service cancellations (sometimes refundable)
A practical rule of thumb is to have $2,000–$5,000 accessible cash or available credit to cover urgent costs. This isn’t a legal requirement—just a realistic buffer until reimbursement or estate funds arrive.
Reminder: Reimbursements depend on local probate rules. Always keep receipts and check with the executor before spending personal funds.
3. Managing Bank Accounts and Payments
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Many people don’t realize how quickly banks freeze accounts once they’re notified of a death.
It’s illegal to continue using an account in the deceased person’s name after official notice.
However, some families keep accounts temporarily open for practical reasons—to clear final bills or pay vendors—before the death is formally reported. This can create legal and tax risks.
The safest method:
Notify the bank promptly.
Provide certified death certificates and letters of authority if you’re the executor.
Request the bank issue an estate account for continued payments.
Reminder: Say It Last does not endorse delaying bank notification. Always follow state and federal financial regulations.
4. Why Canceling Subscriptions Quickly Matters
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Streaming services, utilities, and memberships continue charging until formally canceled. Fast action saves money for the estate.
Trusted Contacts should identify and cancel paid services right away.
Many companies refund unused portions if you cancel within the billing cycle.
Use the Subscription Cancellation Tracker template from Say It Last to document contacts and refund confirmations.
Keep copies of cancellation emails or chat logs for the executor’s records.
Reminder: Refund policies differ by company. Always request confirmation in writing.
5. Conversation Starters for the Account Owner
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The best time to talk about this is now—before anyone needs to act under stress. These conversations help prevent confusion, family tension, or rushed decisions later.
“If something happened to me, would you feel comfortable handling my accounts?”
“I’ve stored everything in Say It Last—you’ll get an email when it’s time. Want me to show you how it works?”
“If costs come up early, here’s where you can find emergency cash or reimbursement instructions.”
“My lawyer/accountant can confirm the steps if you need help.”
These questions can remove fear and confusion later. It’s not a legal conversation—it’s an act of love and preparation.
When Family Members Ask for Money
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After someone passes away, it’s common for family members to feel anxious about money—especially if bills or funeral costs are still unsettled. Trusted Contacts and executors can stay calm by using clear, respectful language.
Here are a few ways to respond without conflict:
“I understand things are stressful right now. The funds are part of the estate, and we have to wait until the official paperwork clears before any payments can be made.”
“Everything will be handled fairly once the executor finishes the first review. It’s just a process we have to follow by law.”
“Let’s make a list of what’s needed and bring it to the executor so they can guide us through the right steps.”
“I’m not allowed to release any money until the estate account is set up, but I promise to keep you updated.”
Each line strikes the right tone: calm, kind, and legally safe—never blaming or promising, just acknowledging the emotion and deferring to process.
Reminder: Trusted Contacts should never use personal funds or release estate money without written approval from the executor or probate court. Say It Last offers this language for educational purposes only.
Footer Note
If you’ve been asked to serve as a Trusted Contact, know that Say It Last was built to make your job clearer and safer.
Handled. Decided. Safe.